Showing posts with label Hazel Mae. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hazel Mae. Show all posts

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Here comes the MLB Network

The Globe's Bill Houston reports today that Rogers is well on its way to bringing Hazel Mae's oiled up gams to a TV near you.

Rogers is looking to package some requisite CanCon together with content from the recently launched (and much desired, in these parts) MLB Network to form Baseball TV. (Although we'd put money down that the name becomes MLB Network Canada by the time the channel launches.)

Before anyone starts bitching and moaning about the fact that we're not getting the original purely American feed, we'd note that the lattitude that Rogers has in their licence may actually make the Canadian version a better choice. Baseball TV is currently licenced to air 10% live baseball games, which would work out to about five live games per week. (MLB Network currently offers live look ins, like the Score's old Diamond Surfing feature.)

The Canadian content on the channel may actually be a boon to Jays (and Expos) fans if they include classic games from the Canadian franchises. Classic baseball is rarely seen on CTVglobemedia's ESPN Classic Canada (apparently, they can't squeeze it in between Classic Darts and Classic Pub Night).

We firmly believe that there is an appetite for more classic Jays games beyond the handful that we've seen repeatedly (World Series clinchers and what not.) For instance, we'd love to see the Jays' 1991 ALCS games versus the Twins again.

Houston concludes by repeating the speculation that the channel could launch in Canada in the spring, in time for the start of the season. While we would love to see some baseball over the winter to warm our hearts as we shovel out and trudge through snowbanks, it's probably better late than never.

UPDATE: If you want a sense of what the MLB Network has to offer, check out the panel discussion on the Jays homepage featuring Joe Magrane, Harold Reynolds and Al (Blisters on my Blisters!) Leiter. We don't even care if we don't agree with's just nice to hear guys talking baseball.

The Yankees have big bags of money, the Red Sox have big brains
We begrudgingly tip our cap to the Red Sox brain trust, who appear to be close to signing Rocco Baldelli (sorry GROF boys) and John Smoltz. There are all sorts of health risks with both of those players, but if they are healthy, they fit perfectly into the Sox 25-man roster.

To be honest, those signings (if they come to pass) would worry us more than the Yankees' spree and the Rays' signing of Pat Burrell.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I Want My M(LB)TV

(And as we use that title, we realize that there is a whole generation who wouldn't necessarily get the reference. Yikes.)

These are dark days for baseball fans in Canada. While any given sportscast in this country can find a way to cram in an extra 2000 hours per week of discussion Brian Burke - and seriously, Christ's return wouldn't get this much coverage - there's precious little out there for us fans of the finer things in life.

One of the more depressing moments we've had recently happened when we searched for "baseball" through our TV's program guide, and the answer came back starkly: "None". Groan.

Which is why we find some hope in the last paragraph of this article from the Sporting News on the launch of the MLB Network. The article suggests that maybe, possibly, if we all are good boys and girls and do our homework and floss and stop picking on our siblings and lay of the MILF porn, then maybe Rogers will bring the MLB Network to Canada. Says the article:

"There are no concrete plans yet to take MLB Network international, but (Tony Petitti, MLB Network's president and CEO) says Canada would be the first country into which the channel would expand. Rogers Communication (sic), Canada's largest cable distributor, happens to own the Toronto Blue Jays, and Petitti noted there have been discussions with Rogers about bringing MLB Network to Canada."

The launch of the MLB Network in Canada could go a long way towards offsetting our Seasonal Affective Disorder this winter. Just listening to folks talk about baseball (even those that talk absolute shite) is like a nice warm sweater and a cup of cocoa with extra marshmallows for our soul.

Of course, Rogers already holds a license in Canada for an all-baseball-all-the-time diginet, but they haven't moved on it, likely because they were waiting to follow MLB's lead on this. We're just hoping that they'll see fit to shelve their verions in favour of what will undoubtedly be a superior and readily available product from the U.S. (with bonus Canadian Content in the delightful form of Hazel Mae!)

Surely, if Rogers can include CBS College Sports TV in their channel lineup, they can find some room for the MLB Network.

So we implore the execs: Tony Viner, Rael Merson, or whoever has the capacity to make this happen, please please please please pretty please add the MLB Network this winter. We'll be forever grateful.

(Wow...that was kinda pathetic, wasn't it? But seriously, we could lower ourselves further to make this happen.)

Friday, June 27, 2008

Bizarre search terms of the day - Hazel Mae edition

Occasionally, people find their way to our blog with some strange search terms. We don't often point them out, because we don't want to seem too invasively interested in our readers' business, but this one really caught our eye:

"carlos delgado gets hazel mae fired"

Strange, no?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

We need a Blue Jays Babe

Reading Michael Hiestand's piece in USA Today on ESPN sideline sweetie Erin Andrews got us to thinking about the sorry state of babes in the Blue Jays universe. Surely, we Blue Jays fans deserve to have someone serve as the focus of our admirations, if not our dirty dreams.

There have been contenders in the recent past: The Drunk Jays Fans have gone on at length about their love of former in-game hostess-with-the-mostest Jill Clark, pictured below.

Alas and alack, poor Jill wasn't invited back (yay! More Ryan Greer assaulting our eardrums!)

There's also a whole slew of anchorthingies out there that could be the objects of our affections, but your typical Horton-Hedger-Osmak are more focussed on sniffing the hinies of the Maple Leaves, and Martine Gaillard has been around so long that she feels more like a kooky cougar aunt than a sex object. We don't mind looking at Daru Dhillon, who looks hot in skinny jeans in spite of the random places where she decides to drop h's in her name, but we fear that she might just spontaneously combust if someone took her teleprompter away from her.

And again, those are all women who spend the vast majority of their waking lives in Agincourt, so as pent up with testosterone as the brawling masses at the Rogers SkyDome seem to be, it's hard to lust after someone who's safely tucked so far away from the city centre.

We need a babe on the sidelines.

(And we say this with all due deference to Sam maybe be the prettiest guy on the Sportsnet telecast, but the brush cut is just way too Susan Powterish for us to cut you any slack here.)

It's not like this is a novel idea. When Sportsnet first started to dig into the Jays coverage six years ago, they had ski bunny Ashley Herod hosting J-Zone and flouncing about the SkyDome during games to ask people how they felt. It was as though she was singing Bob Dylan karaoke, but the disc got stuck. Those were dark days indeed.

From there, we had Hazel Mae.

And it says something about the sorry state of babes in Jaysland that we still hear people pining for her, five years after she took her pixie-sized frame and her platform heels to Massholechusetts.

Seriously boys, we need something to fixate on other than Wilner, or we might just as well throw in the towel along with our dignity, grab us a twenty-sided dice and head down to the basement for a marathon game of Mazes and Monsters.

So who are the candidates? Who can possibly step up and make themselves available to be drrrroooled over by a bunch of, well, drunk jays fans?

There are the hot servers who work the "In The Action" seats, but lately, they seem to be avoiding the camera. And they don't seem hot enough anymore to make us want to break the bank to legitimately buy one of those seats. (We'd probably be more interested in talking to Geddy Lee than flirting with them, and we're kinda anti-prog.)

After some consideration, we feel that we're left with one last option. One babe to rule us all: Nicorette Girl.

She's the babe in the green hoodie and short-shorts who stands beside the aforementioned idiot Greer during a between innings promotion, mostly just to be there and look hot. And good gosh'amighty, does she look hot.

(Mind you, we're not sure if there is just one babe, or if Nicorette sends blister packs of eight Nicorette Girls, and the Jays just pop them out through the foil as they need them.)

In any case, we're making a request. If you're at the games this week and weekend, do us a solid: snap a picture of Nicorette Girl, and send it our way. If we're going to get our random idolatry movement off the ground, we're gonna need us some visuals to get things started.

(And if you are Nicorette Girl, then please know this: we love you. We didn't plan it this way. It just happened. But please don't get creeped out by us just because we write Brattainian posts in you honour. We might even quit smoking for you!)